SBC Ameritech To Pay for Linebacker Scandal with Free Minutes From a SBC Pay Phone
Those squeamish about touching a pay phone can redeem their minutes for used bank pens. Others ask, "What's a pay phone?"

John Blair Awarded the City of Evansville in Civil Rights Suit.
Stricter air standards expected.

Mass Murderer Donald Ray Wallace Gets New Lawyer.
Action questioned because old lawyer kept dirtbag alive for 23 years.

Public Reaches Complete Agreement on I-69 Route
Hell freezes over.

Evansville Calendars on Sale
"The Hookers of Fares Avenue".

City Budget Woes Over. Surpluses
and Tax Cuts Expected.
Plan to fine healthy people who park in handicapped parking spots expected to fill coffers.

TV's Pat Shoulders declares Frank McDonald II as a 'New Kind of Democrat'.
Specifically..a Republican.

Commission Votes on New Name
for S. Kentucky Avenue.
Used Car Lot Street garnishes most votes. 'Bondo Avenue' finishes 2nd.

Man Arrested for Auto-Erotic Sexual Activity in Rallys' Parking Lot.
Lawyer says client thought the sign said, "You Gotta Beat!"

Historic Bosse Field to become
U-Pull-It Salvage Yard.
For a small fee Otter baseball players will Pull-It-For-U.

Fox 7's 'Morningside' Program Announces Changes
Will now give weather forecast every 7 seconds with weather updates in between.

New Law Says Taxi Drivers Must Take Drug Tests.
Taking baths remains optional

2nd Street Salvation Army to Sell Rooftop Seats to Professional Baseball Games.
Or become a parking lot.

Contest to Name New Baseball Team.
'Taxsuckers' and 'Otterkillers' lead the list.

Reality TV Coming to Local Stations: "Survive!".
Contestants will drink 3 tablespoons of Pigeon Creek water. Those that 'survive' get a million bucks.