"Ken McCutchan is a life-long resident of Vanderburgh County, Indiana, descended from pioneer families that entered the area in the early 1800s. He is veteran of WWII, having served with Army Corps of Engineers in both North Africa and Europe. He holds a Bachelor of Arts Degree in English Composition and Modern Language from the University of Evansville, a certificate in French Language and Culture from the Sorbonne in Paris, and an Honorary Doctor of Letters Degree from the University of Southern Indiana. His other books include: The Adventures of Isaac Knight, From then Til Now, Saundersville, An English Settlement, At The Bend in the River, and Dearest Lizzie. Mr. McCutchan's books may be purchased at Willard Library in Evansville, IN.

No Choice But to Gum It.   

by Kenneth P. McCutchan

The following incident happened hack about the turn of the century in a little settlement up river from Evansville.

One day the doctor was called to Mike Myerly's house and found the old man lying semiconscious on the kitchen floor with a concussion and a sizeable knot on his head.

The patient came to long enough to tell the doctor that his wife had hit him over the head with a rolling pin

Since this was obviously a serious case of assault and battery, the sheriff was called, and Mrs. Myerly was hauled off to jail.

When she appeared before the judge, her explanation was simple.

When it came time for supper, she said, the old man refused to give her the teeth.

She was hungry, so she got mad and clobbered him.

It turned out that the couple had only one set of false teeth between them. which they took turns using.

The worst part, she said, was "that when she hit him over the head the jolt knocked the teeth from the old man`s mouth, and they fell on the floor and busted. Now I reckon we're gone have to live on soup and mush until we can scrape up enough money to get another set."

The judge dismissed the case and sent her home with an admonition to try to be more friendly with her husband .

He also suggested they get two sets of teeth. so they could both eat supper at the same time.